Easy Days. Harder Days.

Today I was mowing the yard (I can't say grass because I'm pretty sure the grass to weeds ratio falls in favor of the weeds) and got to thinking about our 2004 AT Thru-hike.  It's been 11 years since we spent 5 months hiking 2,200 miles from Georgia to Maine and it is still such a rich part of our marriage.  We frequently laugh about crazy moments trekking through rural America - the people, animals, food consumption, body functions, etc.  And we still find ourselves sharing our stories with people fairly regularly.  Not because we want to brag about our accomplishment but because it is our foundation. It only marks 3.7% of our marriage (I think I did that math correct but somebody smarter, feel free to correct me) but it's had one of the most lasting impacts.

We began our journey a month after "I Do".  Yes, we had a glorious honeymoon in Hawaii for almost 2 weeks but then returned to pack and tie up loose ends related to the real world.  After a wonderful farewell weekend with friends and family at a lodge, we headed North.

We weren't the first couple to hike as newlyweds and we won't be the last but people seemed amazed that we would want to spend our first married year doing something so physically challenging.  The most common phrase we heard on our hike was, "If you can get through this together, then you can get through anything together."  We never really understood the sentiment.  Those were easy days.  

We Woke Up.  Ate.  Walked.  Ate.  Walked.  Ate.  Walked.  Ate.  Ate.  Ate.  Slept.

What's so difficult about that?  We had no bills.  No debt.  No cell phones.  No yards (of the weed or grass variety) to mow.  No house to clean.  No bosses expecting us to be in meetings.  No worries.

It was a time of sweet conversations, constant physical achievements, daily time in God's Word, daily prayer time as a couple, loads of encouragement and some pretty amazing views.  Aside from potty breaks, we were side by side pretty much the entire 5 months.  Joined at the hip.  It really was beautiful.  Maybe you find that odd but Jacob and I truly, I mean truly, loved being together.  We still do.  If we could be together all day, we would, and we'd enjoy it.  We never get tired of one another.

We are no longer living in the "easy days" era of marriage.  We still have very good and blessed days but they are certainly more draining.  These harder days include three little (as in size, not magnitude) gifts that I can't imagine life without.  These days also include

bills, dirty dishes and laundry, work meetings, church meetings, phone calls, spilled milk, schedules, worrying whether dessert is going to my hips, etc.

But these days are important.  While the easy days taught me about enjoying life and love, the harder days are teaching me patience, grace, balance, discipline and soooo much more.  These harder days strengthen me as a person and strengthen our marriage and I am so thankful for them.   If we can get through these parenting days together, I know we can get through anything together.

There will come a day when my kids will be grown (sniff), our house will be paid for, there will be less plates to serve (meaning less dishes to wash) and we no longer have to "clock in" to receive a paycheck.  We will return to the easy days where we wake up, eat, walk and sleep but I know deep down we will miss these harder days. 

*disclaimer:  None of this was meant to be a complaint about this stage in life.  Our life is good.  Our marriage is good.  Our kids are good.  When I refer to "harder days" I just mean life is more complex these days.  I realize nothing about my life is truly hard.

Running isn't Glamorous but God's Grace Is

This post is going to fall under the category of TMI but that's ok, there is a lesson in it.  And if you are a guy, you might not want to read or our friendship might be tainted.

I've been a runner off and on since middle school but it wasn't until I obtained a fuller figure and had a few babies that I got to experience some of the uglier sides of running like chafing and poor bladder control.  In fact, when I started running again after I had Sage I made a comment on FB that said, "My boobs, bladder and bowels all survived my first postpartum run" and it was quite a hit among my mama friends which leaves me to believe I'm not the only one with problems (probably the only one missing the filter that keeps these things to myself).

The first 5k I ran after I had Dakota I pretty much peed on myself at the finish line and sadly, that's not the only time that's happened (hey, it's really hard to get spandex down when you are sweaty).  Then there was the time last summer that I was running in Hilton Head.  It was July in SC so it was pretty hot.  I had just tried a new energy chew (which is not a good thing on my temperamental stomach) and a few miles in my bowels were screaming at me.  Running was no longer an option because if I ran too fast then I was going to have an emergency.  There were no bathrooms anywhere and no bushes.  After walking a few miles I stumbled upon a house under construction with a port-a-potty.  Score.  Unfortunately it was a work day and there were men on site.  I looked at one and said, "I'm sorry but I have to use this."  He said, "Trust me, you don't want to do that."  I said, "Trust me, I have no choice."  I did my business and after a while a guy was knocking on the door making sure I was ok.  Definitely not one of my proudest moments but it was way better than waddling back to the house without pants.  Which leads me to today's story...

So in case you don't know, I'm training for my 3rd marathon which means that my Saturdays are usually full of long distance runs.  Today's run was scheduled to be 22 miles.  I'm just 3 weeks away from my race - it's all downhill from today - except for the actual race, I'm pretty sure it's all uphill.  Anyway, today's run just happened to be the end of my "special time of the month" or so I thought.  Since running for 4 hours with either a tampon or pad is not comfortable I decided I was done enough to go without anything.  I also for some reason was wearing light grey pants instead of my usual black.  At about mile 7 I decided to look down at my legs and realized that I had a major situation on hand.  I was just hitting Shelby Farms and every family in Memphis was there.  I quickly dove into the women's bathroom and hid and contemplated what to do.  I was still 15 miles from home and I knew if I called Jacob to get me I wouldn't get my long run in (I had already missed last week's).  I did my best to clean up, washed my hands and started to leave when I freaked out and went back in the stall. I'm not exaggerating when I say there were people everywhere.  I tried to convince myself that it wasn't noticeable or that even if it was I'd never see these people again.  I then heard a knock on my stall and saw cute little pink sandaled feet underneath.  I said, "Somebody is in here."  She knocked again and said, "I have some shorts for you."  I peeked out the stall and there was this little Hispanic girl handing me a pair of black shorts saying again, "I have a pair of shorts for you."  She looked at her mom who said something in Spanish and the girl said, "It's ok, they are clean."  I took the shorts, which fit perfect.  I couldn't stop thanking the mom and would have said more but there was a language barrier.  Y'all this is one of the most encouraging things that has happened to me lately.  God knew I was upset and stressed and He sent this sweet little girl to bring me comfort in this moment.  I spent the next several miles in awe.

I don't usually take selfies while running but don't you just love all of the wisteria that is in bloom??

Today was not one of my better runs - in fact after my watch died at mile 17 and my ipod started acting squirrely, I pretty much had enough.  I even tried to call Jacob (5 times actually) to come get me and I couldn't get him.  I walked a good bit of the last 3 miles with a grumpy (hangry?) heart but I made it home and ate a bowl of ice cream.  Running is not easy and it requires a strength and diligence that I know only comes from Him.  As I bebopped my way through Cordova today, God reminded me that I am His and He cares about every aspect of my life.  He showed me He will provide but He also showed me that I might have to push through the pain even when I don't want to.

My apologies if I grossed anybody out but this blog is about real life - and real life isn't always pretty.  

Marathon Ramblings

My marathon took place on Saturday in Nashville.  After the one I was supposed to run in December was cancelled, I was able to use my registration to run another race that still benefited St. Jude Children's Hospital.  It really was such an awesome experience.  I wanted to get my thoughts on paper on this bright screen while they are still fresh and since I had 4.5 hours to think, you can imagine there is a good bit swirling around in my noggin.  Also, since I received a medal, I feel like I get to do an acceptance speech, so here goes:

I'd like to thank (in no particular order):

• the Academy
• Everybody who donated to St. Jude on my behalf.  St. Jude is an incredible, incredible organization and I'm thankful that the race I participated in is helping save lives.
• My daddy for getting me into running back in middle school.  He used to pay me $1 per mile but refused to pay up for the hundreds of miles that went into training for this event.
• Martha (and my daddy and husband and kids) for coming to cheer me on, and for taking pictures!
• My children for giving me a reason to run.  I want to be able to play sports with them and run with them and I also want to teach them to stick with things that are hard.  Plus, they made REALLY cute cheerleaders. 

• My husband for watching the kids on many Saturdays while I knocked out longer runs and for being the greatest supporter of pretty much any task I say I'm going to do (some of which I accomplish, some of which I don't).  He's pretty amazing.

• My mother and father-in-law for their support and love towards me.  Sidenote:  My FIL started doing triathlons in his mid-fifties.  He really is an inspiration to me.  Just because I was in my 30's and in really bad shape after 3 babies I was reminded by looking at him that it's never too late to take control of my health.  Not that your 50's are old or anything...
• God.  For life and grace and creation and the ability to run and play.  I could not have done this without the physical, emotional and spiritual strength that can only come through Him.
• My fellow runners at UABC.  I love that I have a little circle of runners from church that support one another and complain together and even run together.
• Jeff & Mary Frances for the ride to the race and for answering my many nagging questions and for general support.  Jeff and I ran the first 11 miles together.  Another sidenote:  Jeff and Mary are also inspirations.  Neither of them would probably have considered themselves "runners" until a few years ago when they also decided to take control of their health.  Jeff has now run 11 marathons and Mary has done several half marathons.  

• All of my sweet friends that sent me words of encouragement during this process and who were praying me through my run on Saturday.  Those prayers were definitely felt.
• The makers of BioFreeze.

Now, onto my "ramblings" (ha, you thought I had already begun):

-  I truly believe that ANYbody can train for and complete (notice I did not say "run"?) a long distance race.  Whether it's a 10k, half marathon, full marathon or ultra marathon, I REALLY do believe that if you set your mind to it and want it bad enough then it's possible.  But it will take work.  Lots and lots of work.  Aside from having a major medical condition that might prevent you from participating in an endurance sport, there is no reason that you cannot do it.  The key is to start really slow and easy.  You don't want to injure yourself or burn yourself out right at the start of training.

-  Spectator signs can be funny.  Or stupid.  I love that there was such a large amount of cheerleaders at this race.  They definitely entertain and encourage.  Some that I remember from the day:  "Toenails Are For Sissies" (I've personally lost 3), "Short People Run Faster", "If Marathons Were Easy They'd Be Called Your Mom" (I've never liked "your momma" jokes), "Pain is Temporary, Pride is Forever" and "Whine Now, Wine Later".  There were also many signs referring to running like a Kenyan and several about twerking (thankfully Miley and Robin weren't anywhere to be seen).  A sweet friend from architecture school had a sign with my name on it and I didn't know about it until I saw it on Facebook.  Boo.  It would have made me smile.

-  I made it to about mile 20 before I busted out my headphones and music.  I was struggling by this point and needed a little pick-me-up.  It was hot and hilly and we were going through a park that felt like we were in the middle of nowhere.  For the most part, the people-watching and live bands kept me entertained.

-  I should have paid more attention to what was on my iPod because at about mile 23 Anna started singing, "Do You Want to Build a Snowman?" and all I could think of was, "Yes, and I'd like to eat him (sorry Olaf)."  It was really hot at this point and singing about frosty characters wasn't doing as much for me as Pharrell was.

-  Biofreeze and Ibuprofen pretty much saved my day at about mile 18.  I took the vitamin I for overall soreness and the Biofreeze took away my leg cramps.  During training I struggled with leg cramps anytime I ran more than 16 miles.  Even though I took all of the electrolyte and sodium tablets recommended, I still couldn't shake them.  Come mile 18 my legs were really seizing up and I just happened to be near a medical tent.  The guy sprayed Biofreeze on my legs and it was like I had just received a parachute from a sponsor in the Hunger Games.  After that I was able to sprint (ok, more like shuffle, crawl, walk, hobble) the remaining 8.2 miles.

-  My goal was to beat 4:30 for my time.  I got 4:31.  I am a little disappointed which is actually silly because that's a pretty good time.  I wouldn't be disappointed except for the fact I thought I beat it.  I passed the pacing team for 4:30 a while into the race and I knew they never passed me.  After I finished, Jacob told me they came in about 5 minutes after me so I was convinced I had made it.  If I would have known I was a minute over my goal I might not have shuffled, crawled, walked or hobbled so much at the end.

-  The starting line for this race was CRAZY.  I was in corral 23 and each corral supposedly had 1000ish people.  The race started at 7 and I didn't even cross the start until 7:41 (think of the people in corral 30-something)!  Then, once I started running there were people all up in my business slowing me down.  It was a little overwhelming but exciting at the same time.

-  I'm all for people doing run/walk programs during these type of events.  In fact, when I started training, I did a scheduled program like that.  What does bother me is when somebody is running in front of me and then stops to walk and I suddenly have to swerve out of the way.  People need brake lights.  Or, it would be nice if they just moved to the side before stopping abruptly.

-  The first time I saw my family cheering for me (at mile 17) was the highlight of my run.  I'm so glad they were able to come.

-  Back when I was training, I told my friends Jeff and Sarah that I would never do another marathon.  They said, "That's what we all say."  I know what they mean now.  While there were moments that I was thinking, "this is stupid" (hey, I was hot and tired) the overall excitement and feelings of accomplishment win.  It's kind of like having a baby - after he/she's born, you forget about the pain of labor.  So, I've already started thinking about where I'd like to do the next one but it's not going to be for a while.

-  If I had a nickel for the number of times I heard runners (myself included) complain about the hills then I would be able to buy myself a new pair of running shoes.  It was really hilly.  At first I took them as a fun challenge and pushed myself up them.  By the end I was more like, "another hill, are you kidding me??" and I just walked up them.

-  I don't understand how people wear some of the things they run in without major issues.  I'm not going to expand on that thought but coincidentally they were the same people stopping at the med tents for vaseline.

-  Clif Bloks are my weapon of choice when it comes to energy treats.  I've tried Gu before and it wasn't pretty.  Once you find something that you like and is kind to your stomach, it's best to stick with it.  I personally like the margarita flavor and tried to refuel every 6 miles.  I kept Gatorade in my bottles and took every water that was offered to me.

Well, that's all I got for you.  I'm sure I could share more pieces of wisdom nonsense but blogging isn't yet considered an endurance sport and you ain't getting a medal for reading this far.

End of Year, New Year Ramble

I had good intentions of finishing off 2013 with a ramble about my highs and lows of the year and I also had good intentions of starting off 2014 with a ramble about my goals and dreams for the year to come.  Well, that didn't happen but since my 32nd birthday was Thursday and Sage's 1st was the next day, it only seems appropriate to mark those dates as the end of one year and the beginning of the next.  So let's see what's swirling through my mind...

-I had some goals for 2013.  I blogged about it as my "word of the year".  3 little goals for the whole year (ok, they weren't so little).  Finish getting licensed.  Finish a marathon.  Finish my family.  I had every intention of picking up my study material a month after Sage was born, who was I kidding?  Who wants to study about solar energy, static loads and plumbing when you've got this cutie to look at...

...yea, my thoughts exactly.  Then it was summer which offered lots of lake trips and multiple beach trips and just lots of family time.  That was probably the theme of the year, family, and I'm thankful for that.  So, I'm a few weeks shy of my deadline to be licensed and there is no way I can get 3 more exams finished (ok, I probably could but it wouldn't be pretty or healthy).  I'll just reapply and knock the remaining ones out as soon as possible.  My other goal was to run a marathon and I trained and trained and trained and I was ready.  A freak ice storm canceled it so I didn't meet that goal either.  However, I will be running one week from today in Nashville!!  I guess we finished the last "goal" but sometimes I question that.  I mean, look at that face above and tell me the world wouldn't be a better place with a few more of those smiles...

-Speaking of marathon training, at 32 I am finally coming to a place where I feel "secure in my skin."  Thanks to all of my training (and breastfeeding for a year), I've lost 17lbs (47 if you count my baby weight).  Even though I'm still about 5-10lbs from my goal, I think I'm healthy and fit and for the first time in my life I'm starting to feel good about my body.  Yes, I have some battle scars (aka stretch marks) from 3 pregnancies but at least I'm working on the parts I have control over. 

-To help with my marathon training, we joined a gym in February.  This bitter cold winter didn't make running outside with 2 kids very enticing.  Not to mention I was about to go crazy cooped up with a 4 year old and a baby all day.  Now I can have 2 hours of much-needed "me" time and get my exercise in too.  My new friend, Annie has been my workout buddy and I've enjoyed the social side of working out too.  I've tried several classes (pilates, fitness yoga, barbell) and I really enjoy them.  After my marathon, I hope to do some swimming and cycling (maybe train for a future tri?).  Jacob and I also go rock climbing because they have a climbing wall that is really awesome.  All that to say, I'm enjoying being physically active again.  Now it's time to work on my diet...

-Speaking of being healthy, one of the greatest blessings of last year (Sage being #1) had to do with my genetic testing that I had done at the end of the year.  I've had it on my mind to be tested for hereditary cancer genes for 10 years but knew there was no reason until I was done having kiddos.  I had the tests done in December and got the call a few days before Christmas saying that of the 20+ tests performed, they were all negative.  Praise the Lord for His goodness - I have no risk of hereditary cancer.  We don't know why my mom and her cousins got ovarian cancer so young (maybe it was genetic but she just didn't pass it along to me?) but I don't carry a gene mutation which means my little girls can't have it either and that is the greatest relief.

-We got a new dog this year.  Not intentionally but she's ours now.  In November she showed up in our yard with a collar (no id or microchip), looking like she just walked out of somebody's house - clean, healthy, etc.  She was definitely somebody's dog.  We didn't feed her for a few days because we wanted her to go home and we didn't contain her either (our dogs are in an electric fence) but she wouldn't leave.  I tried to find her owners by putting up posters, searching and posting on craigslist and the humane society facebook page but had no luck.  I think she was abandoned.  Come January she ran off and killed the neighbors rooster.  He wasn't too happy and said we needed to take her to a shelter or contain her because if he found her in his yard again he would shoot her (them country people like their guns).  I called the shelters and they were swamped so she would have probably been euthanized within days and I tried to find her a home but couldn't find anybody interested.  So, we just decided to bite the bullet and get another invisible fence collar and call her ours.  We've got 5 acres so I can't use the excuse "we don't have room." Meet Asher:

We are working through the 12 tribes of Jacob with our dog names - Josie (girly version of Joseph), Naphtali and now Asher.  She is a really good dog so I'm not regretting the decision to keep her, even if it's a little more money for food, she's not much more work.

-Speaking of food money, do you guys feel like your grocery bills are skyrocketing??  Our food budget is probably $200 more than it was a few years ago and even though Sage is eating real food, I don't think she's the culprit.  We don't really buy a lot of packaged junk food, just meats (always the manager's special), produce and dairy (we go through like 5 gallons of milk a week) and I still feel like we never have anything to eat.  Any tips on saving money in this area???  

-The beginning of 2014 started with a bang, literally.  We had just been home from our trip to Hawaii for a day and the crazy weather resulted in a busted pipe.  I was home when it thawed and heard the bang and then I heard something like Niagra Falls coming from our basement.  By the time I figured out what was going on and how to shut the water off at the street, we had 2" of water in our basement.  Y'all, I cannot even imagine what it would have been like if I wasn't home.  It makes me shudder thinking of what a disaster it would have been and I am praising God for protecting our home.  So, instead of our year starting all organized and such, it started a little chaotic:

All of the carpet was ripped out, everything was stacked in piles and there was a hole in the wall.  The insurance company was in no hurry and it took several weeks to get the measly amount of money to repair everything (which means we've been doing a lot of work ourselves) and then it took a while to get the floors fixed.  We decided not to put carpet back down but did stained concrete which we are loving but was a mess in itself.  Hopefully I can blog about all of the rushed renovations soon - unfortunately we aren't quite done (almost 4 months later - but we are close).  A blessing from all of this is that we are renovating areas that probably wouldn't have gotten done anytime soon and I am also trying to clean out junk that I've been hoarding.  We don't have an attic so all of our stored stuff is in closets in the basement.  I'm trying to be conscious about what goes back in.

-I could probably think of some other random things to share with you but Dakota is babysitting Sage and unloading the dishwasher so I probably should be a responsible adult and take care of my kids now (Jacob's mowing the yard).  Actually, speaking of Dakota, I have to brag on her.  Sometimes I am tough on her because I expect too much but I am really, really proud of the big girl she is becoming.  She's always been such a helper and she's such a good student at school.  Most of my frustrations with her come from her bossing Corban around but I realize that part of that is her natural leadership skills (definitely from her daddy, not me) so I'm trying to work on her using them in a positive manner.  So far she's got straight A's and she is reading at a 3rd grade or higher level and she absolutely loves her school and teacher.  I can't believe she will be done with 1st grade in 5 weeks.

-I'm going to leave you now but I'm looking forward to 32.  This year I want to continue having quality family time.  I want to run more races.  I want to find ways to serve and invest in people and most importantly I want to find a deeper relationship with Jesus.  I want this to be the year that prayer and reading Scripture really become a part of my daily life.  Thanks for sticking through this post...