Tuesday Testimonies: Marriage Struggles

So back in November I posted about how I wanted to start sharing what God is doing in the lives of His people.  Remember?  Well, I probably didn't pursue the idea like I should have and I never got it going.  Anyway, I got an amazing email from a friend today who has given me permission to share her story.  I love that she is using her past marriage struggles to minister to other people going through the same thing.  I think you will be encouraged by her Testimony.  I still remember the day that the husband of this story was baptized because it was probably one of Jacob's most encouraging moments of his Christian walk.  Thanks for sharing your story sweet Friend!!

"My husband and I started having marriage trouble around our 7th year - guess it's true what they say about the 7 year itch. I was naive and probably looking for attention and made some poor decisions which led my husband to make some poor decisions...and over the course of like a year and a half we just grew apart. I ultimately kicked him out of the house and was at my low when I just laid it all at His feet. I mean I really didn't know the Lord at that point but I was desperate. I had some friends praying for us and my parents were helping to intervene a bit.

We watched that movie Fireproof and I started realizing that believe it or not all of this – the giant mountain we were trying to overcome in our marriage – was “normal”. And better yet, that all marriages go through struggles like mine and yours but yet somehow everybody thinks that it’s a sign of something being wrong in the marriage! It’s like this big taboo thing that nobody ever wants to admit to – struggling in marriage. Talk about a revelation! I knew deep down that I wouldn’t find anyone better for me or my girls than my husband. So I knew that God and I had to turn things around.

As you can imagine, we had a lot of dirty laundry that wasn't being aired. Lies, deceit, secrets... that just all began unraveling - it was like God was just unfolding it all right in front of us. Initially the truth hurt the relationship really bad. In fact I thought we weren't going to be able to get past it. But in the end, truth was the only thing that enabled us to move forward.

We laid it all out on a sheet of paper - all the ways we had hurt each other. That helped us to see that it wasn't just one or the other - we were 'even', so to speak. We both had to start over - that it had been a two-way street that got us where we were. It was ultimate disclosure.

Then we started having the hard conversations about what we each want, need out of the relationship (I had to take notes during the conversations so that we could stay on track because we would end up arguing and getting side tracked from making progress).

All in all it took us about a year to really recover from all of that. It was very gradual and the trust was very slow to come back. The total disclosure allowed us to monitor and hold each other accountable through cell phone records, email, and Face Book. It was extreme but it was what we had to do to rebuild emotionally.

I attribute all of this to God because He lifted me up to do the work that it took to rebuild. He gave me the words to speak during those conversations because I prayed and asked Him to. He moved in my heart to love again. And the best part is that my relationship with my husband is the best it’s ever been. I know we'll come across more mountains, but next time, I'll know that, through God, it's possible to overcome them."

Such encouragement.  If you'd like to share your Testimony so that others can learn from your experiences, email me triciacartner@hotmail.com.